Solitude

Solitude has always been a familiar companion. Even as a child, surrounded by family and friends, I felt a quiet sense of isolation, a feeling of being there but never truly understood. I was part of the conversations, the laughter, the chaos, but something in me lingered just outside that circle, an observer rather than a participant.

As I grew older, I tried to bridge that gap, to mold myself into the expectations of others, to speak louder, laugh harder, and fit seamlessly into the world around me. But the emptiness persisted, a quiet ache, a sense of being misplaced. It wasn’t until I stepped into the wilderness that I began to understand that solitude was not something to be feared, but something to be embraced.

Backpacking through dense forests, I discovered a language I could finally understand. The towering trees didn’t ask me to explain myself. The rivers didn’t expect me to conform. In the quiet of the mountains, the gentle rustle of leaves, and the crisp, untouched air, I found a sense of belonging that had always eluded me.

Camping beneath star-studded skies, I felt a calm I never knew I needed. I learned to listen, not just to the whispers of the wind and the crackle of a campfire, but to my own thoughts. Thoughts I’ve wrestled with for years, thoughts tangled in confusion about who I am and where I belong. In the stillness of the wilderness, I could face those thoughts without judgment.

Hiking along rugged trails, I began to shed the layers of expectations I had worn for so long. Each step, each breath, each moment spent in the embrace of nature felt like a reunion with the truest version of myself, a version unburdened by the need to please, unafraid of quiet, and unashamed of solitude.

Nature became a mirror, reflecting not who I was expected to be, but who I truly am. It taught me that solitude is not emptiness but a space to grow, to heal, and to simply be. In the wilderness, I was never really alone. I was with myself, and for the first time, that was enough.

- Blaine Ford

Camping in Mt.Rainier National Park

August 9th 2023